What do all popular people have in common? Do they all wear the same clothes? Have the same hair? Say the same things? Of course not. There are popular people all over the world, enjoying their social status at school, work, and wherever they go. They don't all look or act like each other, but they do all share one very crucial characteristic: people skills. Maybe they were born with them, or maybe they learned them from their family; however, they got them, they have them, and maybe you feel like you don't. Here's how to develop your people skills and start being the popular kid around your school! www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwVok-I6sbA
Create an objective. If becoming popular is your goal, you need to know how you will get to know that you are popular. Is it when all your colleagues come to know your name? Or will you consider yourself popular when passersby wave at you?
Understand the methods of successful people around the world. Once you have your objective clearly in your mind, proceed to check who is popular in that particular area and what they are doing. These people take steps that the not-so-popular guys are not taking. Example: One manager is known for his good communication with clients. How does he do that? He makes all his presentations very simple. He is ready with his suggestions and spends time understanding the client's real needs. These are a few things that he does which most of the other managers do not do.
Begin by keeping a good reputation and being nice to others. Stop thinking about yourself. Of all the people skills that popular individuals have, the one that none of them can do without is empathy. How well do you relate to other people? If you're so caught up in how they perceive you that you don't consider how they feel, then you're being self-absorbed--not in that cocky, obnoxious sort of way, but still, your thoughts are revolving around you. Stop worrying so much about how you look, how you sound, how you compare, and start thinking about how other people are doing. Don't try to act interesting to get other people's attention; act interested in them. Ask them how work or school is going, how their family is doing, how that situation they mentioned a while back turned out, and so on. Then relate. Talk to them about how you or someone you know had something similar happen to them, and how they dealt with it. Find common ground.
Be Confident. Everyone has some flaws. Don't let that stop you! Even if you feel that you just aren't good, keep believing. Love yourself and believe in yourself. Don't sit in the corner. Get up, and get into the spotlight. Don't worry too much about yourself. Get some courage!
Dress like you mean it. Being popular is being dressed like you mean it. Most popular people wear those expensive, rare clothes 'imported from Singapore', but it's easier to dress like yourself. Most people don't like people who wear flashy clothes, but they also don't like people who look like they've just finished rolling in the mud. Be yourself! Remember to dress accordingly too, being popular doesn't mean dressing yourself in a Sweater with Jeans in 0 degree weather!
Be friendly to those you know. Smile, say hello, and if they greet you back, ask them how they're doing. No matter where you go, make it a habit to chat with strangers and acquaintances alike, even if it's just for a few minutes.
Be social. This usually means to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. If you're not popular, it's because you're not comfortable doing the things that popular people tend to do--making conversation, cracking jokes, flirting, and in general, engaging people. Remember that popular kids are popular only because they are known by (and get the attention from) others. You may be introspective, shy, or quiet, but in order to get what you want, you need to change how you interact with people. At first, that might feel like you're being shallow or fake, but remember that being yourself is, at its core, all ...about knowing what you truly want out of life. There's nothing wrong with wanting people to know you by name (which is what popularity really is).
Know what to expect. To be popular, you're going to need to take a few chances (on a social level) that normally feel uncomfortable (perhaps terrifying) to you. So be prepared to be bold. If you do this long enough, it will come natural, causing others to notice you more.
Know that becoming popular is something you grow into - and not over night. You need to start with the attitude/ personality. You don't have to be very smart and constantly raise up your hand in class. However, if the teacher does ask you a question, saying "No" or "I don't know" will not only make you look dumb, but it will make you look like a slacker, and someone who doesn't care about their life. Home life should be pretty simple. Avoid telling your parents to bog off, butt out, etc. It is offensive, and might cause you to get grounded. Even if you happen to not sit with the "cool kids" in a class, you can still become popular in that area. You just need them to notice you as "popular material".
Many kids, when they become more and more accepted/noticed by others, start becoming funnier and more fun to be with. This is the reason most popular kids differ from the rest.
Think about how others perceive you. If you feel that you can change your look a bit to appear more noticed, while still being true to yourself, then gradually do it (i.e. with trendier clothes, using makeup if you're a girl, having better hygiene, a girlfriend/boyfriend). Here are some ideas as you climb your way to the top:
Accessorize. Loads of cool accessory shops can provide colorful, costume jewelry, and they can always provide good gift ideas for your friends.
Wear the shoes! Uggs (with skinny jeans) /sandals/flip-flops are what popular kids are wearing these days, if you're a girl. If you're a boy, wear Nike or any other shoe brand that looks nice!
Get fit. If you play a sport, that's cool. If you don't, work to keep a good body. For example, if you're overweight, excercise. If you are really thin, build some muscle mass by lifting weights. The gym is always a great place to go to, and is fun when you bring a friend too.
Try to fix your hair. Parents may restrict this, but whatever, you're cool. Trying colourful (non-permanent) hair extensions is a risky idea, so just go for some choppy bangs, side fringe and lots of hairspray.
Be friendly. Popular people are on friendly terms with pretty much everyone--not only their peers, but also the teachers, the supervisors, the grocery store clerk, the janitor, the parents, the kids, and generally anyone who's even the tiniest bit nice. (The only people they're not friends with are the ones who are practically impossible to get along with.) They're on good enough terms that they can hold a short, friendly conversation with anyone in the room. There's no reason you can't do that, too.
Have good style. No one wants to follow a person who has a bad fashion sense. If you can't afford brand names, shop at stores that still have cool clothes at an affordable price (e.g. charming CHARLIE, Target, Aeropostale, Abercrombie, American Eagle, etc.) If you want your own signature style, buy from all stores and mix & match. Everyone loves a person who has no fear when it comes to fashion.
Keep it casual. Small talk is all about sticking to "safe" topics. Stay away from anything controversial, like religion or politics. By expressing your views on a controversial topic, you're bound to be unpopular with people who disagree. Keep the topics "light".
Be polite. Respect people's privacy; don't pry. Learn to read body language so you can see when your questions are starting to make them feel uncomfortable. Don't invite yourself anywhere, don't stalk, don't brag, and don't interrupt. In other words, don't be annoying.
Give a helping hand. Popular people don't just know everyone--they're on good terms with everyone. They establish those terms by helping people out, and they don't do it in particularly noticeable ways (they're not the martyrs or saints of society). They do little things to establish rapport (in addition to some big things, like volunteering). They offer someone a pencil when they need it. They close the neighbor's gate when it opens after a strong wind. They hold the door open and wait for the person behind them. But most often, they listen to people when they talk, and they offer to help somehow. If you truly empathize with people, you'll want things to work out for them. If there's nothing you can do to help then, at the very least, let them know that you're hoping the best for them. Here are some phrases that you'll often hear popular people saying:
"Well, I hope things work out. If you need anything, just call me, OK?". "Whoa, that's crazy. I can't believe he did that. Do you want me to talk to him for you?". "Yeah! I definitely want to go check that out. Do you want to go there together? We can split the gas that way."
Be yourself and don't lie about yourself to others. Being Yourself may sound trite, but popular people live out this popular phrase. If they all weren't themselves, they wouldn't be happy with being popular because no one would know them for who they really are. You might think that in order to be popular, you need to be attractive and talented, but--while it's true that those qualities are more likely to make you a hit with people--there are extremely popular people who are otherwise quite average, and there are extremely good-looking and talented people who are anything BUT popular. Remember, the only thing you need in order to be popular is a good set of people skills--the remainder is all yours to mold as you see fit, regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Don't try too hard. Surprisingly, many "popular" people don't put too much conscious effort into it. They simply are themselves. If you're desperate to be popular, it will show in your actions, and people will think you're a poser, or worse, a freak. One way to make friends is if you find a group of friends that shares your interests, whom you can easily be yourself around. Then as you become more and more accustomed to hanging out with people, you can branch out and start talking to different people.
The popular kids will eventually see you have what it takes to be popular. If they want you to join their group, great! If they don't like you, or do things you feel uncomfortable doing, then keep a distance from them (you can still be an acquaintance with them if you want). Remember that it's totally possible to be super popular without being in the popular group.
Don't ever try to act like someone else be yourself! Look approachable. Pleasant people are a joy to be around. People who always walk around looking like their dog just died aren't. Give people a chance to warm up to you. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. That might sound like something you would hear from your grandmother, but it is good advice.
Even if people around you are denigrating someone, avoid being drawn into negative gossip. If pressed for an opinion just say something neutral like "Well, she's always been nice to me, so I don't know" or "Maybe he has personal issues that we don't know about--who knows?" Although, in some communities, you might have to be mean to the "unpopular". This is most common in middle and high schools. If you live in this community, think carefully before trying because you might permanently lose one of your friends, even probably your best friend.
Join a sport! Usually, all the more popular girls are athletic and play sports! Cheerleading, gymnastics and dance are obvious ones. If you're not into those, you could try field hockey, lacrosse, swimming, track, basketball, volleyball or soccer. Almost all sports teams have popular people on it. Again, athletic girls are usually the more popular ones. If you have a Facebook account, you can add your school friends if they have a Facebook account too. Always talk to them. But don't get on and start saying, "Hey I'm bored." Then they respond, "Me too." Then that would seem lame. So have something to say when you start talking to them.
Don't be upset if you're not the most popular person in school. Sometimes it's better to have good friends that care about you and are fun to hang out with, than being a cool kid. Because after all you need some good buddies. Guard your privacy. When everyone knows you, it means that there's a greater likelihood of nosiness and gossip. Think of how famous celebrities have someone prying into their personal lives at all times (inquiring minds want to know). You'll also need to be prepared for people starting conversations with you while you're running errands or sitting down reading a book at the park.
It comes with the package. Handle it gracefully. Don't be disappointed if you fail. Popularity can be easy for some and practically impossible for others. There are many factors which can prevent a person from being outgoing and well-liked, but that does not mean the person is worth any less. Don't try and be something you're not. Don't think too hard. Being popular is as much a state of mind as anything else.
If people see you trying too hard to be popular, they will usually dismiss your efforts. Popularity, in the end, is only partly about how others see you. Your reputation may fade and change over time, and the only thing you can control is how you treat others. Realize that popularity has its ups and downs, and may fade very quickly when you start at a new school or job. Every situation is different and sometimes you need to start over. Don't have an attitude!